I didn’t realize how burned out I was…the iLet helps.

Everyone’s definition of “burnout” is different. For me the last few years have felt so stable yet full of insanity parenting two littles, managing their every activity meal, snack request etc. As I reached for my pump I would quickly select ”32g” and say to myself, “sounds right” as I was scarfing down food to get them to bed at a somewhat reasonable hour, always rushing, yet never feeling truly satisfied with my bolusing decision. I’d just hope for the best result with the cgm graph to follow. Wait and see. My a1c and time in range hasn’t been over 6.5 in maybe 15 years…And I know I could do better. Even though I work from home, have all the resources in the world and access to the best healthcare it is still “all on me” and my behavior to see the graphs and impact is of my effort. I realize the numbers and the input of the numbers were really impacting my day to day more than I realized, until now. 

Math has never been my strong suit. I struggled with comprehension as a kid-math involves multi step thinking….and so does diabetes. When we bolus, correct, use our brain as it relates to planning (ahem ALL THE TIME) wet skip to the next thing-yeah yeah correct and go, done. 2.6 units sounds great-kid is screaming, gotta go pump, no time for you today….until  you realize that today is becoming every day, and so on. 

Until I met….the iLet. 

Enter your weight. That’s the only setting the pump needs at set up.

I’ve been on the iLet pump now for 8 weeks. And of course like any piece of technology it has its quirks, but the mental and emotional guilt and feelings of “whoulda coulda” aren’t there. There is no option for them to be there because the only time I give insulin is to say I’m eating a “usual amt, less than, or more than” and the algorithm of the pump determines the amount based off of previous doses (the last 7 days) and aggregates them all. I cannot correct a high blood sugar or input or change a basal rate. Some may cringe at the thought of not having that control, but after 36 years of doing it, it's so freaking nice to have a break. There are also plenty of days where either I am planning to exercise or eating a low carb meal that I don’t announce at all. 

I will say I have had some lows, and some annoying highs, but I trust the pump to bring me back down, and bring me back up. I have no idea what my basal rates are and its not up to me to calculate anything. The math is hidden from the screen, and therefore my brain. AND I LOVE IT. 

No rates or ratios to question, no settings to move around with. I can adjust the target (lower than which is 110, usual target which is 120, and higher which is 130). I can pause insulin if I need to manually (I do this approx 30 mins before a workout).  

I didn’t realize how much mental math and associated guilt around counting the carbs or trying to self associate the shame was really impacting me. I can blame the pump not me. That’s powerful stuff. 

A few things I have learned and want to share with you include: 

1-if I do see a trending higher bg it doesn’t stay up for long-the ILet is SO fast at delivering insulin with both delivering a bolus and during the priming process. This means that even if I don’t pre-bolus by more than 5-10 mins my blood sugar immediately turns the corner. (I am using Humalog in the pump).  

2. Glass reservoir not plastic which I LOVE. 

3. I can go 3 days without charging it. The pump uses a mag safe induction charger that I can also use to charge my phone. It takes about an hour to charge the whole thing which lasts a solid 4 days if not charging at all. 

4. For the first few weeks I was having a lot of lows. Not just sit at 70 and slowly come back up, but a LOT of lows, like 40s and symptomatic ones. I’ve learned to learn the algorithm a bit and see within the phone app that each meal I announce is adjusting based on previous doses. This has forced me to really try not to overtreat lows. Say my bg after a “usual meal” drops to 50 and then I overtreat and I spike to 200-all within a 4 hour period (the active insulin time in the iLet) it will think that because I was low but then also high that for my next lunch meal I will need the same amt of insulin if not more-which isn’t true. SO, I’ve really learned to not overtreat and then let the iLet do its thing. Its helped a LOT. I have also learned to just not announce for meals (also hard) and let the pump figure it out. Totally weird but kind of awesome?

5. I was involved in a clinical trial for this product back in 2013. I felt the exact same way then as I do now-the burden was stripped. I didn’t know or feel the responsibility and ownness of all the decision making.  The saying that people with T1D make hundreds of decisions a day, yeah that’s true-but it's not true with this pump. Some of those decisions are stripped away-and I wonder if it's helping my overall mood and level of anxiety just a little? 

Unsure yet as to whether I will keep using the iLet long term-as a Certified Diabetes Care and Education Specialist I was given the opportunity to try this for up to 90 days. 

If you are someone who gets freaked out by the numbers-only want to bolus for a certain amount, or wants to enter a specific number each and every time you manually give insulin-this system may not work for you. If you often forget to bolus or correct,-this may be good for you. 

If you are not patient, and need a break and are burned out by alll the data and options for shifting settings-I highly recommend giving the iLet a try.

As always-book your free call with me. Always happy to chat about any and all concerns related to T1D.